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Okay, it is the mother here, and I am getting a little bit peeved.  Back in November, Bobby informed me he was going on vacation, and, despite my protests, he packed his suitcase and left.  I can hardly blame him, as you can see what it was like here for the past few months, below.

Bobby in the backyard - photo by Kelly Mahan Jaramillo

Bobby dreaming of Cabo San Lucas - photo by Kelly Mahan Jaramillo

So, really, can you blame him?  He wanted a vacation, he went on vacation. Fine, okay, there really is no arguing with him when he gets his mind set on something.

To be fair, it was snowing and cold up until two weeks ago, but then rain started, the snow melted, and now Spring is here.  It is beautiful.  It is time for the Bird to come back!

His employer has three books lined up for him to review, his first one is a really fun science fiction romp called “Logging Off”, by Caitlin McKenna. Bobby really enjoyed it, and was looking forward to reviewing it, but he is not back, and I have no idea where he is.  However, he did send me a rough draft of his review, sent from somewhere is South America, promising to polish it up when he was home.  That was two months ago.

Since then, all I have received are these two postcards, below, showing him lounging in a pool at whatever resort he is staying.

"Sun and Sand!" Photo by Kelly Mahan Jaramillo

"Another round of Pina Coladas, please!" Photo by Kelly Mahan Jaramillo

If anyone happens to see a drunk, fat, lazy crow lying on a beach towel covered with white corn chips and hamburger meat, will you tell him he has a job, and his vacation is LONG over, and to get his tail feathers back home, pronto.

Thank you.

If he is not back in the next few days, I will take his rough draft of “Logging Off”, and post it.  Believe me, I have read it, and it has that special “Bobby D Book Review” flavor that we have all come to know and love.

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Hello my fellow crow fans and assorted others, human and higher beings,

Again, my apologies for the delay, but there was a terrible legal hassle I had to go through with my boss.  I do not consider Sarah Palin’s book, “Going Rogue, An American Life” a book.

The Bird reviews books, both fiction and nonfiction, magazines, blogs, anything that is literature, and is interesting, informative, funny, factual, emotional – everything that true writers are supposed to give to their readers.

Sarah Palin does not qualify as a writer.  I refused to review her book, and the Parents were one hundred percent behind me, but it took some serious legal arguments to back up my decision.  In the end, we won, the courts ruled that Palin’s pieces of paper do not qualify as fiction, nonfiction, literature, factual, anything.  This waste of what was once a live tree is not considered a book by the High Court of Trees. As crows, we know what is and is not a book, from all of the time we spend with the original paper source.

It qualifies as a 44 year old woman writing a “Dear Diary” with all of the ability of an angry fifteen year old.

The Bird does not review “mean little girl” diaries.

Read and see more here:

Bobby’s Bi-weekly Book Review

Although, the picture below pretty much sums it up.

[image by ‘flyinureye’ via themudflats.net]

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Hello, my fellow Crows and assorted Others.  Today we are reviewing “Not By Accident: Reconstructing A Careless Life”. by author Samantha Dunn.

You can click the link below, or just pop over to the review page.  Enjoy!

Bobby’s Bi-weekly Book Review

I have to make dinner, the Humans are working late, so my apologies for rushing off.  You can see I have my hands full, below.

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Ahh, folks? Are we out of Garlic Salt? I am looking everywhere, dammit!

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I am one happy crow. My mother is finally starting to understand me when I speak.  Today is a great example – she noticed my drinking cup was a little bit low, and she threw the old water out, washed the cup, and put in nice fresh water.  For all of her flaws, and there are SO many, she is very good about making sure the Bird has plenty of fresh food and drink.

However, it has been awhile since she has taken me out onto my balcony, where my jacuzzi-bowl  is in my large black, Nouvelle French dressing room. She says it has been too cold, I keep saying I am a Bird, and we live in the cold.  Her counter argument is that I am now, after 8 years, an indoor bird, and I would catch a cold.

Puh-leeze.  I am a crow, we are invincible.

So, when she brought my little cup of fresh water, I dunked my head in it, loud.  It startled her enough to realize that I was willing to take a bath in a cup, I do not like being dirty, and I was feeling icky.

She caved.  I was taken outside to my beautiful big bowl, where I proceeded to take the longest, splashiest bath ever, and she had to keep coming out and filling the jacuzzi-bowl.  I love it when she is my slave-girl. I should make her wear the Princess Leia slave outfit. The Bird thinks that would be appropriate. I will bring it up at our next Homeowners Meeting.

So, now I am glossy and clean and gorgeous, and below I would like to share with you a few photos of my room, my three story condo, and my books.

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Leaping from the top floor to the main room

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Have I mentioned that my condo has been appraised at over $100,000? You heard right.

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Is this bulb out again? Grr, these antique lamps. Someone find the father.

Now that I am clean and relaxed, I am going to begin my next book review. Everybody over on the review page is asking what is next, but I refuse to give a teaser.  You will just have to wait until tomorrow.  The Bird is Busy, and can only do so much, you know.

Caw!

Bobby Out!

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The Parents were gone for 24 hours.  They went roaring out of the house in the middle of the night on Friday, and came back after one a.m. on Saturday – I mean Sunday morning.

The bird gets confused with the humans whole “time” thing.  For me, it is morning, then it is afternoon, then it is night.  Much more simple.

So, they make all of this racket coming into the house, and I’m a-hearing snippets of ‘New York” and John and Eve” and Aminta and Michael” and “Vietnamese Food” and “The Q&A” – any other crow out there on their laptop want to tell me what might have been going on?  The cats below me were just as confused, and we did call a meeting to discuss the issue, but no light was shed.

Well, I cannot worry much about it – the Mother has been exhibiting all of the signs of guilt, and that means I can take full advantage of her.  I have been treated like a king for the last 4 days.  Still, they are waking up a little on the late side.

I think I may start screaming really loud around 6 a.m., just to get them out of bed.  After all, they are still up until midnight in the room next to mine, making all kinds of noise, which they justify as “work”.  Ha!

I would caw some more about this, but it seems to be working out quite well on the ass end of the deal, and today I am writing my first book review, so, gotta go!

But, I have some kind of clue…..these fell out of the Mothers pocket, and I quickly grabbed them.  They have been keeping secrets.  From the looks of these, those two have friends! No one ran this by us, and that is just Not. Okay.

Bobby D. The Crow

Chasama-Film-Fest_0024

I know that is the Mother on the far left. Those other two? Hmmm

Chasama-Film-Fest_0048

Oh, it may be blurry, but it is her, alright. And it looks like New York.

 

Chasama-Film-Fest_0049

Yep, the father too, looking guilty. Those Lucy's got some 'splainin' to do...

 

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Hello, Bobby here. I would like to let the mother have the floor, as this is important to the parents insofar as their work is concerned, which makes it important to the Bird.  Bottom line – the parents work, the Bird eats.

Thank you.

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Thank you for the lovely introduction, Robert.  Fresh Corn chips await you.

Hi all, it is the Mom here.

First off, the Summit is over and we all lived. Tomas and I went downtown on Wednesday and took a few pictures of the pre-preparations, on our way to the health food store.    Below is one of my favorites.  This sign was HUGE!!

this from the front seat of the Volvo, driving by.

this from the front seat of the Volvo, driving by.

We have a lot of them, and I just have not had time to post.  I will sprinkle them throughout posts down the line.

It was really interesting to be downtown, watching all of the preparation, and seeing how deserted the city was.  I love this city.

HOWEVER – on to personal pressing business – I am writing this because Tomas had requested that the International Movie database get his name and aka in the correct order, and somehow there was a mix-up.  You can only find Tomas Hart, and the film he worked on as a music element creator.  You cannot find Tomas Hradcky, the film composer, anywhere on the Imdb.

It is the same Tomas – he changed his name to Tomas Hart when he went to Los Angeles 23 years ago.  The last five years of his stay there, he  went back to the original family name, Tomás Hradcky.   He has scored over a dozen films, and until the Imdb fixes it, Tomás Hradcky and Tomas Hart are not linked as the same person.  But they are, and I am writing this on all three blogs so as to clear up any confusion until it all gets straightened out with the Imdb.

He is in the middle of composing a film right now, and does not have the time to re-contact the Imdb, so for now, this will have to do.

Partners on a Dime is the blog where you can read about past films he has scored, and what he is currently working on.

American Dumpling is where you can read about the documentary he scored that is making the film festival rounds.

Tomas Hradcky is his home page, which is in dire need of an update.

And below is a picture of him from two days ago, driving through the Fort Pitt tunnel.

Driving through the the Fort Pitt tunnel, the day before the G20 summit

Driving through the the Fort Pitt tunnel, the day before the G20 summit


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Summer is hard everywhere.  My birthday is August 15th – when I try to find compassion, sympathy and understanding for my mother, what caused her to hate and abuse me, I figure she was not in the greatest spirits because she was in her last tri-mester in Summer, and flung me out in the dog days of August.

Of course, if I am to be totally honest about my severe dislike of her, I am glad she was in misery.

I guess we are both assholes. Although recently, on my end, there has been a change towards her.  It can be found on the “What Happened” blog.  This is Bobby’s blog, and he is  getting irritated that I am making it all about me, as usual.

For Bobby,  sumer is misery for him, also.  He molts in summer, and it makes him very snappy, angry, and unhappy.  Especially because he cannot fly, he molts more slowly.  I have been trying to come up with anything I can do to make him feel better, and nothing has been working all that well.  Although today, I just got a suggestion that is wonderful.  I am going to try it and will report how it goes.

In the meantime, however, please look at the picture below.  That is Bobby D the crow in August.

Robert-deNiro

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